Reflections from Guatemala

Prayer Forest

While in Guatemala our team got the chance to spend some time in solitude and prayer in what the missionaries call the prayer forest.  I would like to share with you a little of what God spoke to me during my time there, and some of the things He showed me during this Guatemala trip.

I have been going through a book called God's Love Letters to You by Dr. Larry Crabb.  It's a 40-day devotion that has taught me so much about the love of God.  I never realized how deep His love is for me, how jealous He is for my attention, and how everything that happens in my life has God behind it trying to bring me deeper into His love.  I brought this book with me to Guatemala, and in prayer forest I spent some time reflecting on the things I have learned and how I have grown these last few months.  As I was doing that and asking God some questions I felt that God was telling me to pause, wait, and be still.  I felt He was telling me that He has so enjoyed having me so close these last few months, and He wants me to continue going deeper in my relationship with Him.  God told me that He has me where He wants me.  He is still teaching me things in this stage of my life, so I shouldn't try to move on too fast.  I felt that God was longing for me to stay in His presence and delight in Him as He delights in me.  He didn't want me to leave.  I felt Him warning me not to try to replace His perfect and pure love with things or people in this world.  The rest of the time there I spent reflecting on those thoughts and words I felt God was speaking to me.  I sang to God two songs that came to my mind "Awesome in this Place" and "A Little Longer" by Brian and Jenn Johnson.

The entire Guatemala trip, for me, was confirmation of my call to missions.  God blessed me with more boldness than I've had on a missions trip before as I walked up to people and talked to them.  I was surprised how much I was able to communicate with my little spanish.  There are times when I struggle thinking "How in the world can God use me?"  Sometimes I feel like I have nothing worth anything to offer.  I'm boring, I'm shy, I'm not funny, . . . But, on this trip the kids crowded around me.  They remembered my name.  They called for me, wanted to talk to me, wanted to be near me, cried when I left . . . This was a confirmation that yes, I am called to missions, and God can use me how I am with the things He has gifted me with, and He will provide boldness when it is needed.  All glory to God, because without Him I would be a worthless! Nothing!  I am blessed and privileged to have this call on my life and be chosen as God's tool in the places He has called me.  I shouldn't worry about having what it takes, because where God has called me He will provide.  If I was "qualified" by all appearances God might not get the credit, so I'm glad that I am weak, because through my weaknesses God's strength will show!  I can boast in God every time He uses me!  (1 Corinthians 1:26-31)

View of the Mountains from Prayer Forest

I also have to put in a word for my incredible team.  They were so encouraging, and they worked so hard.  This was the first missions trip for many of them, but my experience did not make me any better than any of them.  They threw their whole selves into each project, each program, each outreach, . . . I learned so much from them in our discussions every day.  I was blessed my each incredible person on the team.  God bless them!